MUSINGS

An entry to the The Great Indian Blogging Contest, as a part of the Apeejay Kolkata Literary Festival 2015.

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 THE IMPORTANCE OF CHAMCHAS IN INDIAN OFFICES

 

During my childhood I read about “the Great Viking King Canute and the waves” and his warning about flatterers (Chamchas). Hence I had an inherent dislike for Chamchas. To me they were deceitful people who artfully manipulated others with dexterity of their tongues. I always felt that the pleasant words they utter should be considered as chalice of poison as they can be used for taking any gullible person for a ride.I wondered why Landlords of yore recruited professional flatters.

 The dislike changed to gradual approval once I joined office and realised the apparent importance of this species of people, especially in Indian Government Offices. The day I joined as the Head of Section of my office, I was greeted by a Chamcha called Bhola.

His Full name is Shri Bholanath Das. Bholanath Das was a “Khandani Chamcha”. His Father too worked in the same office and had earned a reputation of a great Chamcha. He passed on the legacy to his son Bhola whom he happened to push through the portals of competitive government selection process, because of his good rapport with Senior Officers.

 Bhola too continued the great tradition of Chamchagiri of his Father. He too used his good rapport with officers to get his son recruited in the same office.

My first day in Government office was rather dull one. My subordinates (often far older to me) seemed to be cold at the prospect of being led by a person who was probably of their son’s age. Many were apprehensive about my nature, about which they were not very familiar.

Bhola helped me feel at home in the new government office. He took over the responsibility of an enlightened HR manager. He ensured that all essential things were on my table and he gave me some useful tips about the nature of my subordinates.

Bhola extended his support even in unofficial matters like opening a new bank account. Bhola came to know that I was a Cricket aficionado. So he arranged tickets for IPL match at Eden Gardens using his clout.

Bhola was helpful in fathoming the complex world of office politics and industrial relations. He would often report to me about grapevine in the office, to which he was privy and help me avert imminent crises.
 
Bhola’s flattery, would often cross all credible limits. However it gave me solid confidence and was helpful in ameliorating bad moods.

 I wondered what made Bhola take to flattery. I realised that he was not good at office work. He also feared getting transferred to other states. He liked going out of office during afternoon so that he could manage his catering business (which he was running in his wife’s name).

With all their limitations I can conclude that Chamchas like Bhola are an asset to government offices. They are the boss's chief fire-fighters, trouble-shooters and intelligence bureau. They also massage boss's egos and help in giving him a confidence of a lion.